Virgin Diaries

This morning I was doing my usual Facebook/ YouTube scroll for newsworthy topics and stumbled across TLC's latest contribution to reality TV called "Virgin Diaries". Before I get into why the idea behind this show and the show itself is so awful, let me start out by saying that reality TV has never made good television. While the ratings are usually pretty high, the standard for quality footage and well done acting is not.

In the show, Americans of all ages and genders are interviewed about their choice to wait for physical intimacy until marriage, ranging from sex to kissing. Some people on the show are in relationships, some are not. Some are virgins and some have made the choice to start over and try again.

While I certainly have issues with the theme of the show in general, what bothered me most was the way these people are portrayed on television. I felt that the cinematographer, director, and everyone else had set out on a mission to make virgins look stupid, as if somehow people reach a new level of intelligence when coitus is finally achieved.

The biggest example is the engaged couple waiting to share their first kiss at the altar. They share their values on the air and when the big moment finally comes, they try to swallow each others' heads! I'm sure that first kiss is public was awkward, but somehow it looked even worse on camera.

The theme continued when the director interviewed three roommates in their thirties. All of them sit on the couch or the bed doing massage lines in their braided, naturally blonde hair and minimal makeup. The TV crew had done their absolute best to make these women look uneducated and unattractive.

While I personally believe that waiting for marriage is well worth the effort, I'm not here to argue the point. My beef is with the goofy way these people are approached. Being a virgin doesn't make you any less intelligent or less equipped to live in the real world.

To state what should be obvious, virgins can dress well, climb the professional ladder, and somehow or another manage to not look like idiots.

PS: Would we ever see a show titles "Diary of a Slut"? ............oh, wait..............I forgot about Jersey Shore.

No Fear in Death

The Huffington Post recently published a story about a lion who tried to eat a little boy at the zoo last week. I dare you to watch this without laughing. Jack, a toddler in a striped hoodie, sits and giggles as the lioness on the other side of the glass tries to eat him for breakfast.

What struck me was how this 600 pound death machine was literally gnawing on the pane to get to Jack, and the kid just sat there and thought it was hilarious. To him, being inches from death was funny. Why? Because he somehow knew he was safe. His parents were there the whole time, making sure nothing happened and encouraging him to have fun. My point is that for children, nothing, including death, is scary until they are taught to fear it.

I saw another video of a different boy at the Colorado Springs Zoo, who was also "attacked" by a lion. He was smiling and enjoying himself until his mother tried to drag him to "safety" away from the glass panels.The kid immediately sensed that something was wrong and hesitated before approaching the cage again. His parents, through trying to keep him safe, had taught him to fear.


This is a problem I see in many families today. We put our children on leashes and tell them not to get too close. We hold them back and teach them to be afraid of everything, all in the name of "protection". We tell our kids it's "for their own good", and while that might be the case, too often is just another way to project our own fears onto our kids.

The real joy, however, comes in watching our sons and daughters grow into the people God created them to be, without fear or preconceived notions of the world. The key is set aside the fear we've grown into, step back, and let them play with the lions.

I love the summer. Everything magical tends to happen in the summer. Meg Ryan movies for example. Seriously though, summer is one of the best seasons of the year. The bikes come out of storage, the shorts come out of hiding and so do the bikinis.

It's a season of adventure, a turning point. All my new jobs come with the summer as did the most amazing romance that turned into a summer wedding. The best part though is the weather. I'm originally from Seattle, so super intense heat can make me grumpy, but the thunder storms and gorgeous sunsets make it bearable. I like getting up in the morning to play tennis and riding my bike on the trail.

It's just plain beauty.

The Truth

It says in the Bible somewhere that those who have a relationship with God will be beaten and bruised for their love for Him. I've only just come to realize that the bruises we receive are not just physical. Here in America, we have the freedom of religion. We have the right to believe what we want and worship however we choose without fear of physical pain or death. This does not mean, however, that we won't face persecution.

Yes, people will pick on you for your confessed belief in God, and yes, you will be shamed for the way you live when it doesn't line up with modern secular humanism. But really, I'm talking about something a little different. I'm talking about persecution that is a little harder to see.

More often than not, religious persecution in America is not anywhere near what we see in other countries such as China or Korea. Here, we are ridiculed on a much more basic level. We are called out not for our Bible thumping or long skirts, but for our attitudes. The basic, unspoken attitude of Christian love offends people.

and you don't even have to say anything!

My favorite example here is the recent controversy over Invisible Children, a philanthropy that's done nothing more than to try and raises awareness. Any yet, the media, along with seemingly every liberal on the planet, has jumped to the offense, saying the video wasn't released soon enough or the founders are making too much money. Here again, I think we're missing the point.

People (and organizations) are constantly under attack simply for telling the truth.

We are told that "they will know we are Christians by our love." This is perhaps the truest statement I've heard in at least the last year. The truth, whether spoken out loud or just exemplified, will usually offend someone.

A Special Anniversary

I have started and deleted this post several times over the last five years and decided that although it's technically it's April now, it high time I published it.

Today is January 23rd. Not much of a day to most people, but for me, it's always a little rough. Working in a newsroom with a diverse group of people has its advantages and disadvantages. I like getting a better understanding of the liberal perspective. On the anniversary of Roe vs. Wade, however, things can get a little tense.

39 years ago, Texas went to the Supreme Court to challenge a ruling . They emerged with a new understanding of "personhood", and America was given the right to murder children.

The Court determined that the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution extends to a woman's decision to have an abortion, but stipulated that that right must be balanced against the state's two legitimate interests of protecting prenatal life and protecting a woman's health. The argument was that because these state interests become stronger over the course of a pregnancy, the Court resolved to tie state regulation of abortion to the woman's current trimester of pregnancy.

When it comes to abortion, I will say this. Most mothers who get abortions do not understand what they are doing. Many are honestly ignorant of how this will change them and what their lives will be like afterwards.

Often, I am afraid to write this type of column because of the reactions I might receive. I am afraid that coworkers and friends will be offended. That said, this is one topic I feel I can speak to with honesty and experience. 

My mom was never supposed to have any children: she had six. 

I was never supposed to live through my first year: I am now 25 years old.

My mom has a kidney disease that denies her body most of the usual functions that allow women to deliver healthy babies. She spends alot of time in the hospital and often can't get through the day without being sick.

When she was 18, Tammy married my dad and three years later, a very very small little girl made her way into the world. I weighed less than two pounds, had small lungs, and survived a major brain bleed before going home five months later.

Since then, my mom has given birth to five more children despite two kidney transplants and a very serious disease that affects her daily life. I understand that this way of living is not for everyone. The decision to have a large family may not be the right choice for many people.

That doesn't make it right to cut short a life that could have been.

The picture to the left tells the story of a little boy who nearly died when his mother was 21 weeks pregnant, but due to the courage of some very skilled surgeons, is now 13 years old. During this dangerous surgery, the doctor watched as the unborn child wrapped his tiny finger around the surgeon's, an undeniable sign of life.

How to Date Someone in Public Relations

With a nod to Tom Chambers’s post on five things to know before dating a journalist, here’s a similar guide to embarking on a relationship with a PR professional.

Here are four things you should know about dating a PR pro:

Our relationships are our top priority.

Because our job involves satisfying the needs of multiple people, we’re good at relationships. We’re good at mediating, moderating, and making things happen. “Fantastic,” you’re thinking, “this all sounds lovely.”

Oh, wait, did you think we meant our “relationship” with you? Oh, goodness, no. We have vast networks of contacts; we have more “relationships” than Richard Branson has islands. (Actually, that’s a rubbish comparison—he has only one.)

The fact is, we are people people, inherently social, and we will undoubtedly know at least three times more people in the bar than you do.

We’re very positive.

Come to us with a problem, and we will always give you a solution. We like turning situations around—so much so that sometimes you might forget how things actually were in the first place.

Some people call this spin, but we don’t. We prefer to think of ourselves as incredible storytellers; there will never be an awkward silence over dinner when we’re around, ever.

We know what’s hot and what’s not.

We are very much on the ball in terms of what’s hot or not. We work six months in advance, so we live that way. Early adopters, some might say.

When you think something’s cool, chances are we’ve been there and done that—most likely at an industry event. Some of these industry events require us to exist on a diet of champagne and the odd canapé, normally handed out at the latest “unbookable” restaurant. We can be a little tricky to wow at dinner.

We’re incredibly efficient.

Returning to the “everybody” of my first point, we have a lot of people to stay in touch with, so we are rather good at organization.

However, this makes for an incredibly packed schedule, so you could find yourself being allocated a time in the ever-present BlackBerry calendar, possibly as a weekend or evening activity.

You could also find dinner interrupted by the red flash of the BlackBerry, alerting us to an essential social media checking appointment. Please just allow us to ensure each of our social networks is up to speed; it won’t take a minute. The world could end if you prevent us from doing this.

With that, you are fully briefed on what to expect from your other-half—the good, the bad, and the sometimes-baffling traits of PR people. Treat us well, and you’ll become like a favorite client: We’ll want to spend all our time with you.

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Laetitia Redbond is an account executive at Flagship Consulting in London. A version of this story first appeared on the company’s blog.

I'm Convinced This Is Why My Last Relationship Didn't Work Out

5 things you should know before dating a journalist

By Tom Chambers • May 10, 2007

So, you’ve been eyeing that smart, attractive journalist you’re lucky enough to know personally. You’re intrigued. Your journalist is smart, funny, confident. Visions of Clark Kent taking off the glasses and ripping off his clothes to reveal a perfectly toned body in blue spandex coming to save you run through your head.

Who can blame you? Journalism is a sexy occupation.

But journalists aren’t like the bimbos you usually pick up at the bar. Nor are they the assholes you ladies continually fall for. No, journalists are different beings (which is why you’re attracted to them in the first place), and you should realize — before jumping in — that this isn’t going to be a run-of-the-mill, boring, lame relationship you’re used to.

Here’s what you need to know:

1We can figure things out. Understand, we’re paid to dig deep, find the secrets and wade through bullshit. We can pick up on subtleties, so what you think you are hiding from us won’t be hidden for long. Sure, we’ll act surprised when you eventually tell us you starred in German porn as a freshman in college — but we already knew.

We don’t take shit from anyone, so don’t lie to us or give a load of bullshit. We spend all day separating fact from fiction, listening to PR cronies and dealing with slimy politicians. If you make us do the same with you, you’re just gonna piss us off. And don’t think we’ll be quiet about it. We’ll respond with the vengeance of an Op-Ed page railing against society’s injustices — and we’ll enjoy doing it.

Just tell us the truth. We can handle it.

2At some point, you will be a topic. Either through a feature story or an opinion column, something you do or say will be a subject. Get over it. Consider it a compliment, even if we’re arguing against you in print.

Think about it: we live our lives writing about life. If you’re a part of our life, we’re going to write about you, your thoughts or a subject springing from one of the two.

Don’t be upset when an argument against your adoration of Hillary Clinton turns up on page A4. We’re not directing the writing at you, personally — your ignorance was just our inspiration (there, doesn’t that make you feel better?).

3Yes, we think we’re smarter than you. In fact, we know it. Does that smack of ego? Absolutely — but that confidence is what makes your heart go pitter-patter.

We have a strong, working knowledge of how the world works. That makes us great in conversation. We can delve into the intricacies of zoning laws, local and national politics, where to find the good restaurants, what’s happening with pop culture, where the good bands are playing and more.

But there are pitfalls.

Guaranteed, when you say “towards,” we will automatically say “toward” — “towards” is not a word. We’re not trying to call you dumb (even though you don’t understand the English language), it’s habit. The same will happen when you say “anxious” when you mean “eager” and when you answer “good” when someone asks how you are doing.

We carry ourselves with a certain arrogant air. Embrace it (that’s what attracted you to us in the first place, after all). Don’t be surprised if we’re not impressed when you say, “I’m a writer, too.” No, you are not. The fact that you sit in a coffee shop wearing black while scribbling in your journal does not make you a writer. Nor does the fact that you “wrote some poems in high school” or that one day you want to pen “the great American novel.”

Look, we’re paid to write. Every day. What’s more, our writing matters. It changes opinions, affects decisions and connects people with the world around them.

We’re not spewing our angst or trying to fabricate an aura of creativity. We write about the real world — with real consequences.

Our words go through three or four cranky editors who make us rewrite before it’s printed a few hundred thousand times and distributed all over town. You don’t do that unless you’re confident, even egotistical.

You may have some great journal entries, poems and rudimentary short stories — good for you. Just don’t assume we’ll accept that as on par with what we do (unless you’re really hot, then hell, you’re a better writer than I).

4You’re not less important than the job — the job is just more important than anything else. One doesn’t become a journalist to sit in an office from 9 to 5 Monday through Friday.

We do take our work home. If news is happening, we’ll drop whatever we’re doing — even if it’s with you — to cover it. We’re always looking for stories, so yes, we’ll stop on the street to write something down, interview a passer-by or gather information for a lead.

On that same note, don’t get upset if you call us on deadline suggesting some afternoon nookie and we say, “I’ve got to put the paper to bed first.” That could mean hours from now, but we’ll have plenty of time to put you in bed later.

5You won’t be disappointed. Journalists are intense, driven, passionate folk. We carry those same attributes into our relationships, making it an extremely fun ride well worth the price of admission. Our lives are never boring and each day is different.

If the pitfalls are scaring you away, consider this:

The fact that we’re inquisitive means we’ll listen to you. Even if it does seem like an interview, we’re paying attention to what you have to say (see rule No. 1).

We’ll write about you or your thoughts because you’re an important part of our life and we care about you (see rule No. 2).

Our brains are a great resource. Ever go on a date with an attractive person and wind up wishing you hadn’t because everything they say is just, well, stupid? That’s not going to happen here (see rule No. 3).

Yes, it may seem that we put the job ahead of you, but we’re driven. You’re not with that loser whose life is going nowhere and who’s completely content being mediocre (see rule No. 4).

There you go, five things you should know before dating a journalist. Feel free to add to the list, point out where I’ve missed something or leave a comment. And yes, ladies, I’m single (see rule No. 5).