Whoulda Thunk?

Veteran diplomat Ryan C. Crocker can handle Islamist insurgencies, hostile heads of state and management of some of the world’s largest embassies. But what’s he going to do about the cats?
The new leader of the U.S. Embassy in Kabul has probably already walked past (and possibly petted?) Gordo, Freckles, Dusty, Ferdinand and Maria Teresa or any of the other 25 to 30 felines that populate the downtown diplomatic campus. But in case he has not been briefed on the bizarre battle over their fate (kill them! save them! fly them to Berkeley!), here are the basics.


Somewhere in the murky past, at least one, if not two, embassy staffers were bitten and/or scratched by the somewhat-feral cats that wander the grounds. Security of all forms is sacred here, so red flags went up, warnings went out, rabies vaccines went in. “I’m not anti-cat,” one senior diplomat explained. “I’m pro-public health.”

The writing was on the wall. The cats’ days were numbered.  “That meant exterminate,” one staffer recalled.
Enter the cat committee, which perhaps unsurprisingly is made up of people who love cats. But that doesn’t fully explain them. Working in Kabul is not easy. Staffers endure endless hours and monotonous food, walled off from the city where they work and a world away from their loved ones. Plus there’s the nagging threat that people want to kill them. The embassy bar is called the Duck and Cover.

“We basically can’t go out at all. We can’t walk across the street; we have to take a tunnel. There are no kids, no families, and basically what we have is the cats,” said one member of the committee. “It’s as close as we come to normality.”

In April, one of the embassy’s top diplomats, James Keith, convened a town hall to discuss the extermination order. Cat lovers came out in force to vent, but Keith stood his ground. The proposal that emerged would allow diplomats 60 days to adopt and ship out the cats they wanted, and the rest would meet some unspecified, but presumably unfortunate, end.

This did not assuage all concerns. As per a May 26 e-mail from a USAID staffer (Importance: High), the anti-cat crowd’s solution would do nothing for public health. Many of the cats, domesticated and immunized, it read, are “fiercely territorial” and, therefore, keep out feral cats, as well as vermin, poisonous snakes, rats and mice, “which certainly are more of a health risk to the Embassy Community.”
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Sixty days passed. The debate went on. Amid the diplomatic politesse of meetings and draft proposals, some interesting guerrilla tactics emerged. Taking a page from the Taliban’s book, someone taped a night letter on the wall of the Duck and Cover. “Warning,” it read, above an image of two insurgent cats toting AK-47s, “we will break out our fellow comrades from your compound.”
Another flier that popped up in USAID offices pictured a cat in a Guevaraesque beret: “Viva la revolucion,” signed El Gato.
A more sensitive soul composed an ode under the nom de plume Bacon and the Katz. It began: “Why oh why must we die?”
“Most of you will return to the US where the living is easy and good / We apologize if our actions (purring and eating) have been misunderstood. / Please do not despise us nor wish for our demise / We cannot help it that we have cat’s eyes.”
The humane-removal advocates had a few tricks up their own oxford-cloth sleeves.
Until recently, embassy staffers who lived in a trailer (officially: containerized housing unit, or CHU) were allowed to keep a non-dog. “Small pets (mainly cats) are permitted in the CHUs” was the policy as outlined by the “welcome to post” cable given to arriving diplomats earlier this year. A more recent version, officials said, quietly omits the language permitting cats.

Witnesses have spotted fewer cats these days. Embassy officials insist no cats have been killed. Some remain safely housed in trailers and apartments. Staffers are putting together a name-and-picture-book cat census for those that stay. Evacuation plans have also begun. One committee member has found shelters in Berkeley, Calif., willing to take in what one person called “Afghan refugee cats.”

Who knows where this will lead. Surely a diplomat of Crocker’s caliber can find a solution. If not, the cat fight may very well continue.  

By Joshua Partlow,

Here I Am

I was going through the news today and came across a story stating that the EU will be donating $2.5 Million to help care for rape victims in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The European Commission's Humanitarian Aid and Civil Protection (ECHO) unit already leads a support program for rape victims, and last year the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) agreed to a $42 million package to help those affected.

This is a huge amount of money.

My first thought (as usual) was to book a flight to Africa and start helping in the field hospitals. When it comes to social justice, I'm always the first person to jump on the proverbial bandwagon. The problem is, I can't just pick up and go to the Congo because I feel like it. I have a job that requires my physical presence every day. I have a wedding to plan and a husband who, although he loves to travel as much as I do, can't come with me on a globe trotting trip. The other slight flaw in this plan is that it's the Congo. I am a young, white woman. Hacking my way into the deepest darkest parts of Africa could just as easily get me raped like the women I want so badly to help. The leap isn't that large.

That said, every time I come across a story like this, I feel God's pull on my heart to be involved. The first time I saw Invisible Children's initial film project, I went home and cried for two days, asking God what I could do for these kids. I don't feel called to start a movement; I don't even feel the need to join a movement. I just feel that God wants to use the heart he gave me to heal and encourage other people.

But the road is constantly paved with roadblocks. I can't help rape victims because I don't think I'm even close to ready and abused children have no place in my miniscule apartment (trust me, my husband takes up enough room). 

One day, I'm sure I'll get out to Africa and pour my heart into wounded women and kids, but God's got plenty to do with me before then. Someday, when my children are grown and I am old, I would love to move to some far away place and try something new forever. 

Until then, I will continue to make friends and read travel books.

News of the Strange

It is time, my friends, to update you all on the weird and strange goings on in the world of news. (As borrowed from my daily office antics).

For your entertainment:

Well, Looking over some of the weird stuff in the news. I found a few weekend stories that were really off the wire. 

My favorite, though, actually occurred in Seattle while I was there over the weekend. Apparently, one of the inmates escaped from the local prison and decided to go for a little walk. So, early in the morning, he walks up to a local cabin, still wearing his prison uniform, knocks on the door, and asks to use the phone. 

Now here’s where it gets interesting. The man who answered the door, just happened to be a guard who works at same prison this convict escaped from. He had just left work and was still wearing his uniform as well! 

The two struggled for a bit until the convict took off, but they caught him a few hours later. 

What’s interesting is that all this guy was in prison for was forgery and theft. No armed assault, no robbery, so why even bother to escape? 

Moving on, does everyone remember the Balloon boy from Colorado? His parents tried to make some cash by lying about sending their kid up to space in a silver helium balloon a couple years ago. Well now, it looks like  those same parents  are still strapped for cash because they are now re-opening bids on the balloon after saying that all the original bids were just too low! 
They opened the auction for the balloon at the beginning of June, suggesting a bid of $1 million, but since no one seems to want to pay that much for a shiny plastic sheet, their extending the auction. 

What I find amusing is that after two years and some significant jail time, this couple is still on the track to win fame glory, and cash. It’s obvious the ploy isn’t working, but their stretching as far as they can and then some. It’s ridiculous. 
This poor kid has got to be rolling his and planning his escape when he hits high school. Maybe he’ll use the balloon since his parents can’t seem to give it away. 
And speaking of rebellious teens, some idiot in San Francisco landed his butt in jail this weekend when he refused to pull up his pants. DeShon Marman, a football player at University of New Mexico was boarding a US Airways flight when the gate agent asked him to pull up his pants (apparently they were showing just a little too much). He told the agent to “pull them up for him” 

After that, he boarded the plane, where at least two other employees insisted he either strap on a belt or leave the plane. Finally, the captain of the plane told this kid to take a hike and that’s when the brat got aggressive. After a rather hefty exchange caught on camera by another passenger, Marman apparently injured a police officer before being arrested for trespassing, battery and obstruction but was released on bail. 
Now, to me, it doesn’t seem worth it . Just pull your pants up, man. If you want to make a statement, don’t do it at the airport. There are cops there. 

Also on my little list of summer don'ts: Don’t take your boa constrictor on a camping trip. I swear this story is right out of The Magic School Bus. 

A man from Addison County, MI was cited for violating park rules after he notified authorities that his 5' long boa constrictor that he keeps as a pet had escaped from his pop-up camper.

Officially, the park's executive officer said that the snake is young and probably doesn't pose a threat to humans.

That said, the scary part is that the park authorities still haven't found the snake, but say they are hoping to find it before tourists arrive for Independence Day.

Now, what I want to know is why this guy thought it would be fun to take the snake on a road trip. It's not like a dog that plays fetch and runs around in the woods. Does he pet it? Does he sleep with it? It just doesn't seem like the wisest of vacation choices.

Anyway, I shall attempt to keep you posted as I discover more on the idiots that continue to make life interesting and entertaining.

Something Borrowed

"Something Borrowed", winner of this year's Rotten Tomato and Kate Hudson's latest contribution to the world of romantic comedy, is hardly something to be laughed at.

The film follows Rachel (played by doe eyed Ginnifer Goodwin) as she helps her childhood friend (Darcy) prepare for her wedding. About ten minutes in, we catch Rachel making out in the back of a cab WITH THE GROOM. The dirty little secret here is that Rachel has spent the last six years crushing on this guy without breathing a word to anyone, including the man in question.

Bad leads to worse as Rachel and Dex begin an illicit affair, sleeping around behind the bride's back and expecting their friends to simply play along. In the end, everyone's various sexual escapades are brought to light and ....................everything is fine?

This is where I got confused. in spite of multiple affairs, wounded friendships and broken relationships, every character in this movie gets a fairy tale ending. Darcy cheats on her fiance' and has a baby; Ethan moves to London and writes a book while Rachel and Dex move in together without batting an eye.

At the end of the film, no one gets hurt. No one.

There are no realistic consequences in destroying a marriage or having sex someone while engaged to someone else.

While John Krasinski does an amazing job in the role of best friend, it is hardly a redeeming factor in this movie.

Admittedly, we watch films to draw us away from reality. For example, reality won't tell you it's okay to cheat on your future spouse if that's where your feelings lead you. And reality won't let you get away with it scot free. I promise.

Movies like this one, however, will lie to your face. Ask anyone who's ever had an affair or been cheated on, I guarantee you it's painful. It hurts.

I'm not one to carry a banner or fly a flag for the Christian movement here, but there are women (and men) out there who will see this movie and assume this is how the world works. That is the message of this movie.That the series of choices we make in life don't matter. That we can just go back and change things whenever it's convenient. That as long I'm happy in the end, it doesn't matter how I got here.

God Bless America

"I’ve always believed that this blessed land was set apart in a special way, that some divine plan placed this great continent here between the oceans to be found by people from every corner of the Earth who had a special love for freedom and the courage to uproot themselves, leave homeland and friends, to come to a strange land. And coming here they created something new in all the history of mankind–a land where man is not beholden to government, government is beholden to man."

President Ronald Reagan considered America to be a divine experiment, a country set apart from other nations.  Here in the United States we have the freedom of speech, the right to bear arms, and the freedom of religion. We are the only country in the world with these bragging rights. 

This is what I believe sets our country apart. We used to be the most feared and most respected nation in the world. We held the reins of power and the rest of the world understood that. In 1986, Reagan had no problem ordering the bombing of Tripoli as a retataliation for terrorist attacks against US soldiers. 

Today, 25 years later, such an order would never be given. As a country, we have forgotten how to carry the big stick. The current administration is convinced that diplomacy is the answer for nearly every international crisis and a state dinner with China can end decades of international conflict. 


As Americans, we are held to a higher standard. This country is expected to rise up and set the example for older nations founded on lesser principles. Even in the last generation, however, we have stepped away from the basic guidelines of responsible government and allowed ourselves to become blinded by greed and a sense of self entitlement. In just the last 10 years, we have borrowed more than tripled the national debt compared to America's entire history combined. 


As Americans, we feel entitled to free health care, free housing, free food, and government sponsored education. We expect congress to pay our rent rather than maintain the laws we elected them to protect. 

Regardless of your religious or political affiliations, Americans must realize that we are unique. There has never been a country like ours before. We are a new nation, and with this rebirth comes a grave responsibility. 

Letter To Garrision Kellor and His Brilliant Response

Mr. Keillor,
I listen to your show all the time. I am turning 18 this January and searching for colleges and one of the classes I want to take is radio. People say that I have the voice (and face) for radio and I am interested in the field.

I would love to have your opinion and hear how you got on radio.

Ryan D.
Lebanon, Ohio

--

Answer:

I got into radio, Ryan, by sheer luck and personal connections and also because I could get up at 4 in the morning five days a week even in the dead of winter and be ambitious to do a good show. I was too naive to be discouraged. And somehow, despite all sorts of bonehead moves, my enthusiasm did not flag. I don't think you need to study radio in college. Most of what you need to know you can learn on the job and most of what you learn in a college course will be useless, or outdated. What you need from college is an excellent liberal arts education that will give you a broad base of judgment and perspective that will stand you in good stead no matter what sort of career you pursue. Radio has a bright future which will be forged by young people following their own inspiration, not imitating their elders, though the essence of broadcasting is the same today as it was ninety years ago at the inception: radio is all about coherence. We all live in a landscape of dense confusion and competing messages and radio attempts to give us a degree of clarity and a coherent view of the world, embodied in the human voice. It's a powerful medium that speaks to our perpetual loneliness and I wish you well and hope you'll hurl yourself bodily into getting a good education, studying the hard subjects, taking on a new language, reading the difficult texts. That's going to be a struggle, compared to a broadcasting major, but it's a better use of your time, Ryan.