A few days ago, a friend from my old church told us he was dying. The doctors have given him six months to live and aren't even sure he will make it that far.
This got me into the discussion of how I might choose to live the last months of my life. After running it by a few friends, I was surprised at the varying responses I received. There was the usual answers of thrill seeking and adventures unlived, but some were genuinely different. Brian told me he would simply set aside some time to just be with God and share experiences with the people he loved. Amile would go back to where his heart truly came alive and die on the stage. Eric wants to take a trip to the Rockies.
The thing is, when we know we're dying, our hearts go back to what fulfills us. We want the last part to count.
I spent most of last Thursday talking to Amile about how we would live while we died. After that conversation, I realized I want my whole life to count, not just the last six months. When I die, I want people to know God was in my life, that we were desperately close.
When my great grandfather died, his funeral was something unique that no one who was there will soon forget. Arnold made everyone he knew feel special, like you were the only person in the word who mattered. His life and his marriage to my great grandmother were inspirational. I can't imagine a better role model.
That is the kind of life I want to live. The people we remember are the ones who know the secret. Not the book, but the understanding that life is not about living under the pressure of God's "Plan" but rather knowing that God actually cares about us individually and takes an interest on our daily living.
Once I finally get around to understanding that, I think we can move towards a closer relationship with God and living like that relationship actually means something.